Thank you for your last decision, it makes me see the world more clear. Now I have much more faith to make myself more cold-blood and less emotional.

        I don't think you need to be sorry, though you may essentially not, well, just hope you'll be happy after choosing your own life. And bless to you both.

       It's about time to shut down everything I knew before, to cut down every connection I made before. So for me it's free now. At least I can rub a lot of memory again!

      Whatevery, I have to say thank you! you made me more like a adult, and made me more understand this world, and made me more feel desperation, and know how to deal with it.

    

       After all of this, now all my connection is about to cut down, I hope this can make you more feel free and happy. I don't like to disturb anyone, so Don't let anyone disturb me any more!

       This world is far more beyond my faith.......

如果你真的要消失，

至少让我知道你会这么做。

我不会想问你的理由和去处。

那是你的自由。

只是有时候，我在想，

如果一个人真的想消失，

一定很需要一番很彻底的让自己消失的理由。

我有这样的理由。

难道你也真的有？

算了……大家一起消失吧。

消失是件好事。

如果消失是用来忘却或是开始新生命……

但至少像我这样，让大家知道。

我想彻底消失了~~~~

 

so, what a damn thing you've done! for the last day of this month I can write something here, I can only hope this thing won't happen again! forgive you!

 

Don't be like that. Never be like that........ 

I will never forget this moment: June 9 00:20

          I am now sitting in front of the computer, wondering whether it’s a good luck or a bad luck for me. It’s no doubt that all these days from the day my grandma left me, it seems that things being changed, even worse. The heavy wind is continuing shouting, the wave became abnormal, and the weather, murky with all day’s rain. What can I say? It really pricks up the bad feeling and the sadness from the incident of my grandma’s departure.

          And then, I broke my best sport suit, then, I began sleepless again, then, the cold is repeating better and worse, then, the worst thing happened, I hurt my knee, given by the big wind, by the inexperience of handling a sailing boat in such a big wind, in such a make-or-break moment…

         But it still can be said that I am lucky, because due to this accident, I now can have a short time of good rest, maybe I can completely cure my cold during this period, and I also get much concern from my team member, as well as from the friends beyond me. One more thing, after treating by X-ray, the injure on my knee is not so terrible as I thought, it may recover in a short time. At least I needn’t worry too much.

          So when I asked myself if I was lucky or unlucky, I always told myself that things are relative, in Chinese idiom, there is a phrase called a loss may turn out to be a gain. I love this idiom because I am surely the guy who always gains something after losing something. Though it’s not always so obvious, but still I can say that what I gained is more than what I lost. Though I cannot tell what I’ve got from these days’ bad luck, I still believe there would be some reason.

Because I believe that all these things I’ve been experiencing during these days are given by my grandma in heaven, she must want to tell me something, maybe how to become more strong, maybe how to face difficulties, maybe how to control my emotion. Everything has its own meaning, everything has its own reason, what I need to do is waiting, waiting for the right time to uncover every truth.

          So now I am in peace. Even if tomorrow would be much worse, I would never have complained anything. Even if the sky falls, I would have believed that everything is reasonable. Even if there would be no hope for me, I still have your soul, my grandparent! I would never let you down, and I believe that you will always bless your grandson, don’t you?

I miss u so much! My grandparents!

敬爱的奶奶：

您走了。

您走在没有孙儿我陪伴的时刻里，您走在带着对孙儿我无限期待的愿望中，您走在孙儿我带着后悔和遗憾的悲伤里。

您走得并不突然，因为母亲早将您的情况告知于我，时刻让我做好了心理准备。

但您走得还是很突然，突然得让孙儿我无论准备得多充分，依旧如同毫无防备般地被生生打了一击劈雷。

因为我以为，您是那么坚强，能一直等到孙儿我穿着笔挺的军官服，挂着闪亮的功勋章站在您的面前的时刻，让您看到当年那个柔柔弱弱躺在您怀中，跟您学着ABC的孙儿终于长大，终于不用再让您操心。

然而天意弄人，残酷的病魔在一丝丝夺去您的生命之火，而您的心中，却只有对子孙后人无限的期望，您坚强地挺到了今天，承受着世人所无法承受的莫大的痛苦，最终耗尽了最后一丝生命之光，离我们而去……

您知道我有多么后悔吗？

只是一念之差，我错过了见您最后一面的机会；只是为了自己一时的好胜，我让您带着没有我的陪伴的遗憾而逝；只是为了感受一段新的经历，我永远失去了把希望和快乐带给您的机会。

但我知道，如果此时您的灵魂在我身边，您一定会带着慈祥和蔼的笑容对我说：奶奶没有不开心，奶奶很高兴，看到你长大了，懂事了，奶奶是带着平静，带着笑容离开的。

因为从小到大，无论我犯了多大的错误，您总是用您的耐心，用您的慈祥，用您的善良去关怀我，去感化我，去教育我，但您从来没有怪过我；乃至您已经虚弱到无法说话，无法写字的那段日子，您仍用自己最美的笑容，让我明白什么是爱，什么是真诚，什么是善良。奶奶，您知道吗？在您孙儿二十三年的人生路上，您的笑给予了我多少希望和力量？

犹记得被您一手抱在怀中，甜甜睡去的幼年时光……

犹记得您在床边，为了教我最简单的良好睡眠姿势而循循善诱……

犹记得您在我做错事的时候，耐心地告诉着我什么是对，什么是错，做人一定要善良和快乐……

犹记得您对我的英语启蒙，那时候的您在我心中，是谁也无法比拟的最好的老师……

犹记得……

太多的记忆，随着时光的流逝，已经在脑中模糊淡去，可您对我这一生的启蒙，对我这一生的教育，以及给我从小到大的快乐与希望，我如何能忘？

可孙儿我不孝啊，真的不孝，许诺您的太多，我没有做到，就连最后一面，也没让您见着。我真的后悔，真的真的好后悔……

当母亲告诉我您的离去，我无法控制自己的泪水，无法控制自己的悲伤，但母亲告诉我，您不希望我们哭，您希望我们要坚强！

我知道，您和爷爷一样，都希望我们能顶天立地，做个有成就的人，做个坚强的人，你们离去的时候，都希望我们知道，你们是平静的，你们是没有痛苦的，你们不希望因为你们的离去带给我们过多的悲伤。

您走了，去寻找不久前离去的爷爷去了，你们这样的好人，善良的人，一定会在天堂重逢，一定能在天堂得到永生，得到永远的快乐！

奶奶，您是否还像以前那样，带着一如继往的慈祥的笑容，在天堂为孙儿祝福着？我相信是的，因为无论您在何处，您都不会忘记关怀和鼓励我的，对吗？

奶奶，您安心去吧，您教给我的坚强，教给我的人生道理，教给我寻找快乐的奥秘，我会永远牢记于心，我会让它们成为我人生的指引，永远永远快乐下去，我不会再流泪了。

放心吧，奶奶，您一直相信我不会让您失望的，以前是，以后也一样是的，对吗？

愿您在通往天堂的道路上，平静而开心，让孙儿的祝福和祈祷，为您的天堂之行带去快乐和欣慰…… 

 

 

不孝孙儿陈诗帆

悼于二零零七年三月六日

Yingling

         The experiences between 420 and Yingling are totally different, with the difference between with a keel and without a keel, the steering skill can be much different, especially the way to pressing the shipboard. This afternoon I had this opportunity to take this experience. What a honour. Though I was tired, I learned a lot, so many things I had never known, and never thought about. Certainly I am just a beginner, without a long time training, I can’t fully understand the technique of controlling the wind and tide, but after this training, I surely upgraded, at least I learned many things which I had never cared about, such as the way to judge the gust, and the things which we should pay attention to when we press the shipboard. It was not that easy. The muscle on my thigh hurt, since the wind was much stronger, the rope of the suspender nipped there several times when I had to press the shipboard. But it still had a lot of fun. And the national sailors were very kind. They taught me a lot with much patience. They invited me to join them tomorrow afternoon. I believe that we will surely have fun there.

          The vacation is over, and we have to continue the training tomorrow, but it seems that there’s no pity at all. The three days’ vacation was boring, I didn't feel any ambience to pass the old year. I think without this afternoon’s training, I would feel much more boring. So just begin the training, at least it makes me feel much substaintial.

Continue concluding

       The fourth thing I hadn’t been care about was saving. I’ve wasted a lot, though it seems that I didn’t pay much to buy a lot of expensive and extravagant things. But I surely wasted a lot in the tininess. I think I’m not an impulse purchaser, because I would plan for what I want to buy. And I’m not a extravagant guy, because I won’t spend a lot for something that was just for appearance or fun. But when I had to decide how to treat my income, I found that it’s hard to save money, and the worse thing was I seldom remembered where I spent and what I paid for. It means that I surely wasted a lot. I should be more circumspect about the tininess.

         Fifthly, I think maybe I am a bit too much superstition. Many times I believe in fate too much, though I don’t believe there is a god in this world. I’m not a factionist, I just too much believe that there must be a kind of destiny which is controlling our daily activity, even our whole life. I don’t use tarot or other ways to augur my life, but it’s just because I don’t believe any artificial way, you see, if the god is truly exist, how can a human discern the power of god? Though I cannot see my life way which the fate gives me, I always treat every consequence as the cause and effect, as the fate. Because of it, sometime I just followed the nature but didn’t believe in myself that I may do better in which I wasn’t very succeed in. I still believe in fate now. but I should be more self-confident and self-dependent.

To conclude myself

        Since the new year is coming, I have to conclude myself in the passing year so that I can do better and improve myself more this year. I hope that I can achieve my promise by doing so. Since no one would become a perfect one, I could never get off all my disadvantages either. But I just want to improve, to make much more progress, and to be the one who can suit for this world more, and even suit for you more.

        What I haven’t done well in the last year:

        The first thing may be the emotion. Though I have changed myself a lot, I think it’s still not enough. Sometimes I just couldn’t restraint the emotion of impatience and angry. You know that I am always like to try something new and challenge myself, but sometimes things just be disappointing or too hard, and then I just lost my patience and my confidence when I met so much difficulties. At that moment, I just wanted to give up everything and even things would even be worse when I supposed that I would do nothing well, I should end everything what I was trying. I remember the moment when I talked to Mr. Liu that I wanted to quit the training because I couldn’t endure the pressure and the hardship, because my legs was twitching in the first day’s swimming training, when I was totaled losing my confidence. At that time I didn’t control my emotion well and just stick to the bad feeling. I should say I was lucky that I changed my mind in time and still continuing the training by far, and things just be better and better. It’s not a good habit, I believe so. I should be more controllable. When I decide to do something, I should consider it more and even in another way.

          The next thing I should consider it seriously is the way of talking. Sometimes I just wanted to let the ambience more active, so I talked too much, but I hadn’t considered if the topic was common, if everyone liked to talk about it. So as a matter of fact, many times people around me didn’t feel comfortable. I guess some people think I am a prolix guy, and I think I have to admit that I am surely prolix. But in fact, I didn’t like talking so much as they thought. Many times I just want to be along, to be quiet, but I can’t escape the occasion of sociality. I don’t know why it seems that I am not very practical in talking now, it’s not like before. Whatever, next when I want to talk something, I have to think it more carefully, to consider if it suit for the occasion. Never be the guy who is not the right person in the right place.

          Thirdly, I think I have to admit that I haven’t considered others much. Most of the time, I just only considered myself, thought that I was tired, I was under a heavy pressure, so that I had no time to consider others. In the last whole year, I rarely called my family and my friends, even rarely sent messages to them. I think that’s why I always felt that there were no more words I could talk with my mother and my best friends. Most of my best friends even thought I was disappeared. I know they miss me, I also miss them. I should change the condition. Never be so conservative.

          There are still a lot of disadvantage that I should correct. For the reason of short time, I have to finish this conclusion right now. But I will continue listen to other’s advices and collect them.

          Happy new year to all my friends. Wish all of you will be happy and lucky in the everyday of the new year.

 

P.s: I felt I was the luckiest guy when I heard your voice in the first moment of this year. You will be the god of lucky of mine all the time!

          Finally, I was the last one who didn’t escape the destiny of being capsize. Surely I was scared, but you should see the moment when it happened, it was really funny when my partner and I turned the boat back because it was not easy and we were very fazed, but we still succeeded in doing so. I guess at that moment the exciting feeling is much more than scare. In fact, after this matter, I found that both of us became much braver, we tried many new experiences, such as turned the whole body out of the shipboard to keep the balance of the ship during the upwind. It would be very dangerous if my partner didn’t hold the rudder well, when it happened, the boat would totally capsized in the direction of my side, and because I was linking to the shroud spreader, I may totally be covered with the boat. But we weren’t afraid of it, we just felt excited. It happened several times when situation was really bad, but we still handled it. Ha, how can I explain my feeling? We are surely tired now, but we are also happy. Happy for the capsize experience, happy for the brave what we get from the experience.

          Since we are busy continuing our training and we rarely have spare rest time, I totally forget the date. Without my room mate reminded me, I nearly forgot that yesterday was Valentine’s Day. But I think even if I remembered the day, it would have no sense to me. I just missed another opportunity to arrange a single party.

            The Spring Festival is almost coming, this Spring Festival will be the first time I won’t stay in my hometown, but it seems that there is no much difference, I just hope that I will have a peaceful time and happy time when the day comes. Whatever, to have a happy time in the first day of one year would indicate the whole year’s luck to me. It’s just my superstition.

           P.S: the call from u this evening would give me strength to go through every hard moment. Though it may have no sense to u. whatever, I think I have to say thank you.

      Unconsciously，more than three weeks have passed since we began our training, when I said this, I mean the life in Hainan. It seems time passed fast, and there are only about 5 days before the Spring Festival, but I guess I still have to say that it’s not easy here. In fact we have met a lot of troubles, though at least we still alive.

       It’s funny that we always thought the sailing was much easier than the sailboard training when we still practise the sailboard at the first two weeks training section. But after we finished the sailboard training and fully began our sailing training in the 420 sailing boat, we missed sailboard very much. Since we can control it well under the level 4 wind condition, we totally interested in it. However, we had to stop when we were just beginning to feel the fun of playing sailboard, what a pity.

      The wounds on my leg can hardly be cured because I have to put my leg in the warming clothes and dip into water everyday, so that once the wounds become better, it would be worse after every daily training, what I can only treat is just to put the band aid on it so that it can decrease the injury and ease the pain. Apparently we still don’t adjust to the circumstance very well, maybe after the whole training, the situation would be better.

         Everyday is just as the same, sometimes I nearly forget the date, all I can remember on the daily morning when I wake up is only the schedule and the next training I would have to take in the whole day. Sometimes I even lost my words, because all we are talking about everyday is only the tack, the gybe or the rules, the life here is boring, even though we have arrived Hainan for more than three weeks, we went out for shopping only one time, you can hardly believe that we only had a half-day rest up until now, and we even haven’t been any place except the eating place, training beach and the dormitory. Three points in one line. What can I say? I guess not everyone can endure such a boring life. But still, there is a fun for us, that is the 9:00 pm TV show in HNTV-3, everyday there will be a interesting movie show, though the movies are all old fashion, it’s the only way we can make our lives much more relaxant.

WHEN BOATS MEET

The rules of Part 2 apply between boats that are sailing in or near the racing area and intend to race, are racing, or have been racing. However, a boat not racing shall not be penalized for breaking one of these rules, except rule 22.1. When a boat sailing under these rules meets a vessel that is not, she shall comply with the International Regulations for Preventing Collisions at Sea (IRPCAS) or government right-of-way rules. However, an alleged breach of those rules shall not be grounds for a protest except by the race committee or protest committee. If the sailing instructions so state, the rules of Part 2 are replaced by the right-of-way rules of the IRPCAS or by government right-of-way rules.

 

SECTION A

RIGHT OF WAY

 

A boat has right of way when another boat is required to keep clear of her. However, some rules in Section B, C and D limit the actions of a right-of-way boat.

 

10  ON OPPOSITE TACKS

When boats are on opposite tacks, a port-tack boat shall keep clear of a starboard-tack boat.

 

11 ON THE SAME TACK, OVERLAPPED

When boats are on the same tack and overlapped, a windward boat shall keep clear of a leeward boat.

 

12 ON THE SAME TACK, NOT OVERLAPPED

When boats are on the same tack and not overlapped, a boat clear astern shall keep clear of a boat clear ahead.

 

13 WHILE TACKING

After a boat passes head to wind, she shall keep clear of other boats until she is on a close-hauled course. During that time rules 10, 11 and 12 do not apply. If two boats are subject to this rule at the same time, the one on the other’s port side or the one astern shall keep clear.

 

SECTION B

GENERAL LIMITATIONS

 

14 AVOIDING CONTACT

A boat shall avoid contact with another boat if reasonably possible. However, a right-of-way boat or one entitled to room

 

(a)    need not act to avoid contact until it is clear that the other boat is not keeping clear or giving room, and

(b)    shall not be penalized under this rule unless there is contact that causes damage or injury.

 

15 ACQUIRING RIGHT OF WAY

When a boat acquires right of way, she shall initially give the other boat room to keep clear, unless she acquires right of way because of the other boat’s actions.

 

16 CHANGING COURSE

16.1  When a right-of-way boat changes course, she shall give the other boat room to keep clear.

 

16.2       In addition, when after the starting signal a port-tack boat is keeping clear by sailing to pass astern of a starboard-tack boat, the starboard-tack boat shall not change course if as a result the port-tack boat would immediately need to change course to continue keeping clear.

 

17             ON THE SAME TACK; PROPER COURSE

 

17.1       If a boat clear astern becomes overlapped within two of her hull lengths to leeward of a boat on the same tack, she shall not sail above her proper course while they remain overlapped within that distance, unless in doing so she promptly sails astern of the other boat. This rule does not apply if the overlap begins while the windward boat is required by rule 13 to keep clear.

17.2       Except on a beat to windward, while a boat is less than two of her hull lengths from a leeward boat or a boat clear astern steering a course to leeward of her, she shall not sail below her proper course unless she gybes.

 

SECTION C

AT MARKS AND OBSTRUCTIONS

To the extent that a Section C rule conflicts with a rule in Section A or B, the Section C rule takes precedence.

 

18             ROUNDING AND PASSING MARKS AND OBSTRUCTIONS

 

In rule 18, room is room for an inside boat to round or pass between an outside boat and a mark or obstruction, including room to tack or gybe when either is a normal part of the manoeuvre.

 

18.1       When This Rule Applies

 

Rule 18 applies when boats are about to round or pass a mark they are required to leave on the same side, or an obstruction on the same side, until they have passed it. However, it does not apply

(a)    at a starting mark surrounded by navigable water or at its anchor line from the time the boats are approaching them to start until they have passed them, or

(b)    while the boats are on opposite tacks, either on a beat to windward or when the proper course for one of them, but not both, to round or pass the mark or obstruction is to tack..

 

18.2      Giving Room; Keeping Clear

 

(a)    OVERLAPPED – BASIC RULE

When boats are overlapped the outside boat shall give the inside boat room to round or pass the mark or obstruction, and if the inside boat has right of way the outside boat shall also keep clear. Other parts of rule 18 contain exceptions to this rule.

 

(b)    OVERLAPPED AT THE ZONE

If boats were overlapped before either of them reached the two-length zone and the overlap is broken after one of them has reached it, the boat that was on the outside shall continue to give the other boat room. If the outside boat becomes clear astern or overlapped inside the other boat, she is not entitled to room and shall keep clear.

 

(c)    NOT OVERLAPPED AT THE ZONE

If a boat was clear ahead at the time she reached the two-length zone, the boat clear astern shall thereafter keep clear. If the boat clear astern becomes overlapped outside the other boat, she shall also give the inside boat room. If the boat clear astern becomes overlapped inside the other boat, she is not entitled to room. If the boat that was clear ahead passes head to wind, rule 18.2(c) no longer applies and remains inapplicable.

 

(d)    CHANGING COURSE TO ROUND OR PASS

When after the starting signal rule 18 applies between two boats and the right-of-way boat is changing course to round or pass a mark, rule 16 does not apply between her and the other boat.

 

(e)    OVERLAP RIGHTS

If there is reasonable doubt that a boat obtained or broke an overlap in time, it shall be presumed that she did not. If the outside boat is unable to give room when an overlap begins, rules 18.2(a) and 18.2(b) do not apply.

 

18.3      Tacking at a Mark

If two boats were approaching a mark on opposite tacks and one of them completes a tack in the two-length zone when the other is fetching the mark, rule 18.2 does not apply. The boat that tacked

(a)    shall not cause the other boat to sail above close-hauled to avoid her or prevent the other boat from passing the mark, and

(b)    shall give room if the other boat becomes overlapped inside her, in which case rule 15 does not apply.

 

18.4      Gybing

When an inside overlapped right-of-way boat must gybe at a mark or obstruction to sail her proper course, until she gybes she shall sail no farther from the mark or obstruction than needed to sail that course.

 

18.5      Passing a Continuing Obstruction

While boats are passing a continuing obstruction, rules 18.2(b) and 18.2(c) do not apply. A boat clear astern that obtains an inside overlap is entitled to room to pass between the other boat and the obstruction only if at the moment the overlap begins there is room to do so. If there is not, she is not entitled to room and shall keep clear.

 

19            ROOM TO TACK AT AN OBSTRUCTION

19.1       When approaching an obstruction, a boat sailing close-hauled or above may hail for room to tack and avoid another boat on the same tack. However, she shall not hail unless safety requires her to make a substantial course change to avoid the obstruction. Before tacking she shall give the hailed boat time to respond. The hailed boat shall respond by either

 

(a)    tacking as soon as possible, in which case the hailing boat shall also tack as soon as possible, or

(b)    immediately replying ‘You tack’, in which case the hailing boat shall tack as soon as possible and the hailed boat shall give room, and rules 10 and 13 do not apply.

 

19.2       Rule 19.1 does not apply at a starting mark surrounded by navigable water or at its anchor line from the time boats are approaching them to start until they have passed them or at a mark that the hailed boat can fetch. When rule 19.1 applies, rule 18 does not.

 

SECTION D

OTHER RULES

When rule 20 or 21 applies between two boats, Section A rules do not.

 

20             STARTING ERRORS; PENALTY TURNS; MOVING ASTERN

 

20.1       A boat sailing towards the pre-start side of the starting line or its extensions after her starting signal to start or to comply with rule 30.1 shall keep clear of a boat not doing so until she is completely on the pre-start side.

20.2       A boat making a penalty turn shall keep clear of one that is not.

20.3       A boat moving astern by backing a sail shall keep clear of one that is not.

 

21             CAPSIZED, ANCHORED OR AGROUND; RESCUING

If possible, a boat shall avoid a boat that is capsized or has not regained control after capsizing, is anchored or aground, or is trying to help a person or vessel in danger. A boat is capsized when her masthead is in the water.

 

22. INTERFERING WITH ANOTHER BOAT

22.1 If reasonable, a boat not racing shall not interfere with a boat that is racing.

22.2  A boat shall not change course if her only purpose is to interfere with a boat making a penalty turn or one on another leg or lap of the course.

 

 

 

 

 

words and phrases explanation:

comply with： 遵守

alleged breach： 声称抗议

protest：主张，断言抗议

race committee：竞赛委员会

protest committee：抗议委员会

right of way：航行权

keep clear：避让

opposite tacks：异舷风，相对舷风

overlapped：相联，关联（相联的两船，前船的船尾和后船的船首在前船的首尾线的垂直线上有交互的部分，不管两船间的距离多少，都称为相联） 

windward：上风

leeward：下风

head to wind：正顶风

close hauled：近迎风

entitled：被授权的，有资格的

proper course：正当航线

promptly：迅速地，立即地

a beat：一段（航程）

take precedence：优先

thereafter：从此以后

gybe：顺风换舷

capsized：翻船

aground：搁浅

masthead：桅顶

         Finally, we arrived at Hainan and began our formal sailing boat training. It has been four days since we came here and two days as we starting our training, at beginning, we had no idea about how we would start , what we should learn first, whether it would be difficult. Then by now, much uncertainty became much clear, at least the first thing what we have to face to is now very clear: the sailboard, a stimulating sport, but also not very easy. The first thing we should learn is stand on it, pull up the line besides the sail, and control the handle which connects to the mast, then follow the wind and move the sailboard. Unbelievable, I had seen this sport on the TV before and never thought it would be so hard, but when I tried it myself, I just even can’t stand on the board very steadily, if a current suddenly came and hit the board, the only one thing I can do was jumping into the sea, most time even worse: I fell down to the sea, then the seawater poured into my mouth with its particular smell and taste, I felt too terrible that I’d rather die. What a funny fact is I hate sea now very much but in fact I loved sea when I was younger, I don’t know why the god didn’t give me a power to be more easy and more comfortable when stay in the sea, yet let me became a sea worker, a navy. It just has no sense.

          Within three times of try in these two days, I was surely progressing, but it’s not enough, the most progress i’ve made is that I now can become more easily pull up the line and get the sail, but after that, things become terrible, I can’t handle it, when I catch the handle, theoretically I should stand steadily on the board and use the sail to balance the force of wind and let the board move on, but the fact was after I get the sail I always feel too hard to handle it then either drop it or fell down. Oh, Christ! How can this thing be so hard?!

           Now I feel very tired, and there are so many wound fill my body that I can’t even count them. Hurt is nothing when compare to the feeling of disappointment. But I don’t think I am too stupid to get the point, faith is now the only thing also the important thing that I should hold it tightly. I believe tomorrow I affirmably can handle it!

          At least, there is a word sail in my name, how can I let down myself?

          P.s: something is very funny, when I arrived here, someone just left. Though they aren’t the same places, at least in the same province, especially when this province only has two cities. What I can say is providence kid me...

Words from the BoatSafe introduction software I didn’t get the meaning:

derive: to obtain or receive from a source; to issue from a source; originate.

ex. the benefit to be derived in being able to navigate safely by using the system is well worth the effort.

phase out: to be abandoned in gradual

in favor of: be beneficial to; be more favourite

ex. You should know that the Uniform State Waterway Marking System is being phased out in favor of the U.S.ATONS.

conform: to correspond in form or character; be similar; to act in accordance with current customs or modes.

association: an organized body of people who have an interest, an activity, or a purpose in common; a society.

guideline: a statement or other indication of policy or procedure by which to determine a course of action.

ex. The buoys and beacons in this system conform to the International Association of Lighthouse Authorities(IALA) guidelines and are located in IALA region B.

nuns, cans: nuns mean the floating red marker on the sea which numbered with even numbers and cans mean the green markers carry odd numbers.

preferred channel: the main channel

junction marker: the marker indicate the place where two routes come together and one to the end.

branch: a tributary of a river

ex. if your intended destination is the waterway branch consider the marker a green marker and leave it to your port side.

restricted: kept within certain limits;

ex. a lighted marker flashes at night and during restricted visibility.

G “1” FL G 4 sec: the marker is green, has the number 1 on it, and it flashes green once each 4 seconds.

G C “3”, a green can buoy with the odd number 3 on it

seaward: toward or at the sea..

Intracoastal Waterway(ICW): (美国大西洋沿岸)近岸内航道, a system of artificial and natural channels and canals along the Atlantic and Gulf coasts of the eastern and southeast United States. it includes the Atlantic Intracoastal Waterway and the Gulf Intracoastal Waterway and affords sheltered passage for commercial and pleasure craft.